Robbed. Again.

You gotta be kidding me.

One year to the day from the first theft, Brad’s replacement scooter was stolen while we were out enjoying a wonderful New Year’s dinner with friends. This, despite its being chained to a cement post installed after the last incident.

The scumbags knew we’d have a new bike. And they brought bolt cutters this time.

Feeling pretty disappointed in humanity and haven’t been able to shake it off for days. I’m saddened that we’re having to reconsider doing the right thing for the environment because some sorry excuse of a human being feels entitled to take what’s not his. We have to be realistic though. After all, we live downtown with no garage, and the bike is too big to bring in the house — but small enough that two people can lift it into a truck bed.

If you have any security suggestions, we’re all ears.

In the meantime, I’ve been trying to come up with ways to cheer myself up. Cooking didn’t help. Even the new season of Sherlock didn’t help. (OK, maybe it helped a little.) The only thing left to do was cowboy up and move on. Might be a good time to dream about how to make the homestead and our neighborhood better.

(And dreams can’t be stolen, you bothersome waste-of-protoplasm.)

Without further ado, here are The Dew’s goals for 2014:

1. Give the krakhaus some curb appeal. When rehabbing a home, we usually work on the interior first. But this time we want to improve the street’s vibe as quickly as possible and encourage other homeowners to do the same. So we’ll replace the siding, pick out some sassy paint, finish the brick path, and add a couple of raised beds for low-maintenance, edible plants like rosemary.

2. Clear the orchard. That property is a giant Petri dish of dense, invasive trees and bushes. But not for long.

3. Master one small aspect of cooking. For me, it’ll be soups. Brad’s taking on sauces. We’d each like to perfect a couple of recipes and create a menu of dishes that can be prepared on the spot whenever friends pop by. We’ll update you on which soups and saucy entrées make the house menu.

4. Dry more herbs. There’s no comparison between home-dried herbs and the schlock from the grocery store. Thanks to a windowsill-full of cuttings from my sister-in-law, we’ll be adding more sage, thyme, rosemary, oregano, and Thai basil to the perennial bed.

5. Build a bar. Out of oak pallets. Because that’s how we roll.

6. Winterize the house. A wood stove isn’t an option just yet, but we can install storm windows and add insulation under the floor. If only we had taken this one on before the Polar Vortex squatted over the South last night.

7. Find a permanent home for the rain barrels. Right now our three barrels are stacked on cinder blocks under the roof valleys that funnel water after each rain. Ugly but functional. They need to be properly elevated and positioned for better water pressure. With good planning, we might even be able to turn their setup into a couple of extra planters.

So that’s it. Nothing too wild, but enough to focus on the good that lies ahead — and it looks like there’ll be plenty of it. Happy 2014, everyone. Except you, bike thief.

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