Immersion in motion

immersion blender dew abides danger

There are a handful of gadgets we really want in our kitchen, yet we don’t get them. We turn the other way at Target when we pass the water carbonators, and we sit on our hands rather than grab the box with the breadmaker inside.

It just seems against the nature of a couple heavily steeped in the precepts of simple living to have myriad specialty tools for every fancy kitchen process. I even deprived myself of a potato ricer for years, though I wanted one desperately to make crispy hash browns, scatteredsmotheredcoveredchoppedchunkedanddiced,¬†thank you. (I wish I’d deprived myself longer, instead of caving for a cheap one at Ikea which lasted for three pressings before the cheap metal bent.)

I caved again on Saturday, as I breezed through the aisles of a local thrift store and saw a Braun immersion blender. It beckoned to me, with its shiny blades clearly designed by a hurricane-obsessed weatherman. It’s price was a puzzle, though:

The woman at the counter helped me crack the code.

  • Number in white = dollars
  • Number in yellow = cents

OK, it wasn’t that tough of a code. I just couldn’t believe the thing was only $1.51.

Immersion blenders are bitey but awesome.So it was settled. That bad boy came home with me. To hell with trying to keep the over-stove cabinet clear of clutter. Jenn will have to understand that now I can puree soups straight in the pot!

Can’t wait to try it out, despite this overwrought New York Times piece on the dangers of sticking your fingers near such devices while plugged in. Really, geniuses? I’m of more accord with the comment-poster who says, “It’s articles like this that often cause Americans to be the laughing stock of the world. Would you reach inside a blender with your hands? Pluck a twig from a powered chainsaw? Lick the blade of a knife? Wash your dog in the washer? We all do silly things and get hurt in stupid ways (don’t I know it!), but really, do these things really need to be spelled out? Sometimes there’s just no cure for someone’s careless mistake, it’s no one’s fault but one’s own, and it’s where Darwin intervenes.”

Amen, brother.

Curious about the post title? Oh, young people, how I hate you all.

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